Well paid....easy jobs.....

How would you like to have a good paying job, with excellent health care benefits, with unlimited fringe benefits that allow you to travel, meet people, live the social life, improve your love life with the complacency of your close friends, and appear to be virtuous, patriotic, and good in all areas of your public life? I can tell you about that job.

The job may be easy to execute, but not easy to get.

• First, you have to "sound good", so that people do not run for the exit when you begin to talk. Having a good voice is a valuable natural talent that did not cost you anything, to begin with. Acting skills are also a plus.
• Second, you need a lot of personal and economic support. Support of countless volunteers and financial gamblers who are willing to work for you, hoping to get back some of their investment later, should you get the job.
• Third, you have to be able to learn a few basic tenants, all of which fit in one 8 1/2X11 page. You must be able to use them to express lies that appear to be true. You must use them to distort reality to the point that even yourself become confused. You must accuse, insult and threaten anybody who does not agree with you. Extremely helpful is to scare the incompetent, the lazy or the sick who cannot think by themselves. And finally, oppose, say no, do not do anything or agree with anything which does not benefit you, your friends, and those who have supported you.

This job is easy, because according to what the tenants in the one page you memorized tell you, you do not have to do anything about problems because it is unnecessary: eventually things will get better by themselves if left alone. People like you are so good, compassionate and moral, that you will make sure to solve all existing problems, without government help. Interfering with them only makes matter worse. If you can do all of these, then YOU will be a success. It may take longer for everybody else, but YOU will be ok.

If the job just described sounds good to you, and you qualify, you can get it. All you need to do is to run as a Republican candidate for Congress.